Remembrance dates

In Latvia, where I come from, we celebrate name days. That’s another opportunity to receive presents, invite  friends and have a party. Listening to the Latvian radio station today, where they pronounce the names that are celebrated, I realized it’s my deceased son’s name day. I had forgotten…

It was 8 years ago the last time we celebrated his name day with him alive, even though that was the time when Edzus was already very ill and we knew we are losing him. Maybe I should have felt guilty for forgetting his name day, but I don’t. (The guilt is a huge topic and I will discuss it at some point in future.)

In a strange way I feel that it could be that my son reminded me of his name day in last night’s dream where I met him healthy and joyful and he gave me a kiss. And usually I don’t hear those name days announced on radio either. Some coincidences here  🙂

I will never cease to love my boy and I’m so grateful he was in my life even if for a short time. So today I lit a candle and say a prayer, sending peace and light to all parents who are grieving their children’s death.

1. Release a balloon with a message for them. Have the writing process before be sacred – lite a candle, have peaceful music, or write in any other way that is meaningful to you and your loved one.
2. Invite people who were significant in your deceased one’s life, those who loved him or her, for a cup of coffee and a cake. Share memories, photos and stories.
3. Plant a tree in your garden or in wildlife. Or it can simply be a plant or flower. The growth of something new and alive not only symbolizes your love for the person who’s passed away, but also may make you reflect about the uncertainty of everything in life as well as our ability to bring in new life, no matter in what form, and nurture it.
4. In memory of your loved one you might take gifts to local hospice or charity organization for people who are less fortunate.
5. Visit the grave of your loved one. You can choose to do that alone or together with friends and relatives. It might be a simple moment of silence and reflection, remembering all the good things you shared in life; or it might be a quietly sang ‘Happy Birthday’; or a toy left on the grave if that was a child.
6. Your own unique ritual. Follow your heart. Go with what feels right and has lightness in it.